Lynn Leng Lang

Friday, 7 September 2012

Turning 20. 04:11

I'm finally turning 20 this year. When I was in high school, turning 20 was the worst thing that could've happened in my life because my age number doesn't start with 1 anymore but a 2. TWENTY, 2-decade old! Twenty also marks the end of teenagehood, venturing into adulthood. However now that I've hit 20, life doesn't seem to be as bad as I'd imagined.

At 20, I'm currently doing my degree. After spending an entire year of class with my classmates, I finally opened up and grew closer with them. I didn't like my classmates at first. Not that they're mean, just that I didn't like the course. And it felt so awkward talking to future pharmacists so I was isolating myself from the crowd. But as time passed by, everything went better than expected and I started to fit in.

The lovelies.

And this is my personal counsellor aka kawan baik throughout university life.
Thanks a million.

At 20, it also means I have juniors. It doesn't seem like a big shout out, but I've always pictured seniors being all mature, responsible and smart. I can't picture myself being a senior and fitting all the criteria above.

And this is how my juniors acted during orientation. Funny much !

At 20, it means more independence and trust from parents. Instead of constantly bugging my parents for permission, they're perfectly fine with me going anywhere as long as they know where I'm going. I still have a curfew to follow. It does kill the fun but with the increasing crime rate in the country, it's good to reach home early and safely too.

Across the South China Sea at Kundasang War Memorial.

At 20, I still don't have any financial burden, yet. My parents are still financially supporting me on my studies and allowance but I slowly start to grasp the importance of money. So I started looking for jobs during semester breaks to earn extra money. During this process, anger sparks between me and my parents who have a traditional thinking that students should only concentrate in their studies, not entering the real world earning money. And believe me, it was really hard convincing them I needed to breakaway.

When I was 19, I worked as a waitress at a local sushi restaurant chain for a month. It doesn't sound that hard but I had to do everything from taking orders to mopping floors and cleaning windows. And the hourly pay wasn't exactly high but enough to cover my expenses. I've never told many people before but once during peak hour, I accidentally spilled hot soup on a customer's thighs. Not exactly boiling hot soup, but hot enough to make you curse and swear. Thankfully, the customer was very nice and didn't complain about it. But I got embarrassed so I retreated to the kitchen to wash kitchen utensils instead.

Then this year, I started looking for freelance jobs that are more flexible and pay better. In short, I wish my parents had allowed me to work earlier instead of verbally telling me the importance of education. At work, nobody would be there to clean up the mess I made and communication among colleagues became increasingly important. And I might have to eat maggi goreng in a narrow storeroom without a table.

Taken while working as an extra in a local drama.

I guess 20 is a vulnerable age, mentally. When I was 18 and just entered college, I had a crush on this guy. He was the type of guy I like - tall with broad shoulders and a little muscular. I didn't confess and let the feelings slip away. This year I had a crush, on the same guy, making me feel like a college freshman again. I'm not the type of girl who spontaneously talks to guys I like, not wanting to sound desperate. I'd rather hide the feelings and wait for the guy to confess first. So, nothing happened, again T__T

Of course I felt bitter. But to think rationally, the distance between Malaysia and UK is too great and the relationship may not sustain even if it succeeded. Suddenly Jay Chou's song 晴天 meant so much to me and the continuous ramblings to my friends past midnight became constant. Then I started realizing how important my friends are to me. I was really glad I wasn't going through this alone.

"Friends are like boobs, some fake and some real." I just feel really blessed that my close friends are genuine to me, although the society presents me with the ugly side of the world, that is meeting more two-faced people who just want to be friends for benefits.

The sampats.
Sticking head to each other even though we're all smelly. Okay maybe just me.

The bff pretending to be a hair stylist.

At 20, the future still lies ahead blurry. I still don't know where my life is heading towards. Will I be a successful feminist? Will I get married and be a stay-at-home mom with children? Will I be travelling around the world? I don't think I'll ever get an answer. But I'm thankful for all the people and things around me now. 10 years later when I look back at this entry, I might be laughing at myself.

I guess I'm going to stop here. Tomorrow's my (semi-)convocation. Another little step to my future.

Labels: Birthday, Life entries

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